For women, comparison is one of the easiest things to do, yet one of the hardest to recognize. Mothers compare themselves to other mothers, wondering if they’re doing everything right. College girls compare themselves to their friends wondering if she’s getting as good of grades as the other girl in her class (that’s where I am at). High school girls compare themselves to their friends, wishing they looked as pretty or had all the cute clothes that the other girl had.
We live in a world where everything is at our finger tips. In the palm of our hand we can find every Victoria Secret super model picture, every engagement picture, and every baby announcement photo out there.
Scrolling through Instagram was how I spent my free time. My free time was also spent resenting those fun adventurous Instagram posts. I was upset that I had to go home and work all summer, instead of having the adventures that all my friends were having.
Eventually this mode of thinking becomes detrimental to your health. So first and foremost, stop comparing yourself to others. I know you’ve probably heard that a million times, but in this post I’m going to tell you why it’s important.
#1 You’re Telling God, His Gifts Aren’t Good Enough
When you’re comparing your life to someone else’s you’re always going to want something more. Common sense, right? But the important aspect to understand is that, sometimes, we are telling God, “What you have given me isn’t good enough.”
Let that sink in for a moment.
Our constant longing for something more, is telling God that the gifts He’s already given us aren’t good enough.
Can you imagine that? We are telling the all powerful, all knowing, all loving God, that what He’s given us isn’t good enough.
I’ve been a victim to this comparison disease as much as anyone else. Throughout college, I compared myself to my fellow writers or even my good friends (I still do this regularly).
“They’re definitely a way better writer than I am. I need to get better so I can be on their level or even better.” Or the usual “Why does he/she get better grades than me, yet I study more than he/she does?” Are just some of the many thoughts that have come into my head.
I’ve even compared my own relationships to those that I see on social media. “Why does she get to be with her boyfriend, when I have to be long distance” , “Why does she get to be engaged or happily married, while I have to wait till I’m done college?” As you can see I’ve played this comparison game way too much. In the end it just made me discontent with my life and my relationships.
And that is the other danger of comparison. Comparing yourself to everyone around you, makes you unhappy with what God has given you. So much so that you put stress on your life and your relationships.
This brings me to my second point.
#2 Comparing Your Life Damages Relationships
Comparing your life to someone else’s damages the current relationships you have.
Whenever I compare my relationships to other people’s, I was filled with so much discontent for my own healthy relationships. I was mad at my friends cause they didn’t post about me on social media. I thought my boyfriend didn’t love me as much as other girl’s boyfriends cause he didn’t post about our anniversary on Facebook. Though these things sound silly, they did cross my mind more than once.
Don’t get me wrong, social media is not my standard for love. That would be just a tad ridiculous. However, I will say that I have wanted to be appreciated on social media…and yes, I know that sounds narcissistic (I am an adult enough to admit it).
Anyway, it took me the entire summer to learn how to stop comparing myself to others and enjoy the what God has given me. God had to pull me away from social media and away from the people in my life to see the blessings that I did have.
During this time, I deleted social media. If you couldn’t already tell, social media was the main culprit in the battle of comparison. I saw all the highs that people posted and I thought that’s how my life had to be, all highs no lows. But the truth of the matter is that people have both highs and lows, with social media you just never see the lows.
God had to take me away from everything and lead me to the book of Ecclesiastes to see my problem. In this book, Solomon talks about his life and what’s he’s learned throughout it. One statement that many often quote is that “To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven.”
I have seen the the God-given task with which the sons of men are are to be occupied. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from the beginning to end.Ecclesiastes 3:10-11
Each of us has a God given task. Each of us have been given gifts and blessings all from God. All of the people in our lives were put there by God. He knew the people that we would need at exactly the moment we would need it. He knows the gifts that we need at exactly the right moment that we need them. Read more about true love in this post here.
So why should you stop comparing yourself to others? If we compare our gifts and blessings to what others have received from God, we are telling God that what we got isn’t good enough. Not only that, but we also are also telling others in our lives that they aren’t good enough.
I was telling my boyfriend that he wasn’t good enough because he didn’t love me in the same way that this other guy on Instagram was loving his girl.
So to conclude this long thought on comparison. Remember this: If you spend your life comparing your life to someone else’s you won’t get to live the life that God has already given you.
Time on Earth here is short. Stop comparing yourself to others and start living the life that God gave you.