Why is it so hard to love people? Why is it so hard sometimes to find Love? Why is it so hard to love God above everyone else?

I’m talking to myself as I write this.

At least five times this year, I’ve found myself sitting on my bed crying because of my misplaced love

My boyfriend is in the military. Our relationship is long distance. We are never in the same state—he’s from Virginia and I’m from New Hampshire. So our in person time together is very limited. I can count on one hand the amount of days we’ve actually spent together in the same place.

We tried time and time again over this past year to see each other, but to no avail. I was convinced the military didn’t want us together.

Now that I think back, it was God that kept us apart.

But after I thought about it I realized that God was the one that wanted us apart.

When we were together, my boyfriend and I got really close. So close that sometimes all I could think about was him. Some might say that’s a good thing. It means I really love him. But that’s not how it should be. And now I think I know why.

When my eyes are on my boyfriend, they are off of God.

At the time it hurt, and sometimes it still hurts, that I couldn’t (and still can’t) see him. And through all the disappointment, I raised my fist at God and cried out, “God why are you doing this to me? Don’t you love me?” What I didn’t realize was that it was God’s love that was keeping my boyfriend away from me.

God saw what I didn’t see.

God saw me putting my boyfriend on the same level as Himself. I was trying to love my boyfriend first and Love God second. I spent all the free time I had texting, calling, and sometimes even just thinking about my man. I know I’m pathetic. When it came to spending time with God, I had no emotional energy or even love left to give. This was extremely detrimental to my relationship with God.

See, this is the thing about God. He demands our love first before we give it to someone else. Is it because He’s selfish? Not at all. God just knows that he can fill us more than someone else can.

This past year, I was looking at my boyfriend to fill me, and as a result I suffered in my relationship with God and other people. See God fills us with so much Love that we have what i like to call Overflow love—so much love you don’t know what to do with. The Overflow Love is meant to be dispersed to other people. When we find our love in God, we have more loving relationships.

So, I guess the next challenge is how do we love God and also love the people in our lives? I mean we need to love people and have good loving relationships, it’s commanded in the Bible over and over again. But how do we love God like we should among all of it? It almost seems like we are being pulled in two directions, and one of these is going to be let down.

The trick is for God to come first. I know it seems simple, but it’s taken me over a year to learn this. I realized that when I love God first, the other relationships in my life just fall into place.

Loving God first makes our earthly relationships so meaningful—an overflow or abundant love that can only come from the Creator Himself.

For me, It’s a daily struggle to give (and even to get) that Overflow Love. I’m not the sweetest person in the world. I’m a realist (most of the time). I can’t understand how people can be so nice and cheery and happy. In fact, if you see me walking across the street you might think I’m angry or want to kill someone. Rest assured that is just my face, I promise I’m not angry. In essence, my world is not made of rainbows, unicorns, and cupcakes—it’s messy, hard, and just plain difficult.

But if I can just love God the way I’m supposed to, then I know that I can love people the way I’m supposed to. I need to take everyone else down a level and put God at the top, where he belongs. Only then can God’s love pour down like a fountain, filling my cup and overflowing into anyone else’s cup that comes along my way.

So I pray for not only myself, but everyone reading this. That God would give you the strength to put him first. Take it from someone who has battled with this for over a year, love God and then love others. In the long run, you’ll be thankful you did.


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